Here’s hoping you had an enjoyable holiday season and that, as we head deeper into January, you find a way to keep memories of good times fresh in your memory.
Most of us try and kick off the new year on a positive note. But as January progresses, it’s easy to start wondering when the next good times are coming. The pandemic notwithstanding, it’s common for people to feel a little down this month. For most of December, many of us have had things to look forward to. A chance to meet with and connect with loved ones and enjoy good times. With those behind us now, and the likelihood of cold, dark days in January and February as we move ahead, it’s more difficult to stay positive.
Small wonder that the relatively new concept of Blue Monday has emerged in recent years, to mark the day when we’re most likely to feel down. It’s the third Monday of every year and falls on Monday 17 January this year. It’s the first day of a new work week at a time when memories of the holiday season begin to fade and credit card bills from December start to come in. And it happens at a time when, for many in the Northern Hemisphere, the days are still short (although slowly getting longer) and winter still has its chilly grip on us.
Even if you’ve never heard of Blue Monday, it’s possible that at some point in January, you will feel down, maybe for the reasons stated above, or others. So, what can you do when you sense the gloom descending? The first and most important step you can take is to note what’s happening and make room for your feelings. Remind yourself that what you’re feeling is a common human reaction to the time of year experienced by many. Don’t try to deny your feelings or get down on yourself for feeling blue. Calm acceptance of what you’re experiencing is the first step to conquering the distress that gets stirred up.
After accepting what you’re feeling, giving it room, and allowing it to pass, it can then help to shift your awareness to things that you appreciate and make you happy. Of course, doing so is often easier said than done. But there are practical steps you can take to shift your attention.
Scientists and therapists are beginning to appreciate just how fundamental growing our capacity to take in and appreciate positive experiences is to our psychological and physical wellbeing. Positive emotions enhance our resilience, intuition and creativity. They can also help us cope better with difficult situations and be an effective antidote to anxiety and fear.
“Mental images and the feelings they engender affect our emotional state. Whether it’s picturing a beloved pet, a happy time spent with loved ones, or imagining being in a dream location, positive images can evoke an emotional experience that fills us with pleasure and delight. They can also ease anxiety.”
Living Like You Mean It
The impact of shifting our attention to positive experiences is backed up by research carried out by Kerestin Uvnas-Moberg, a Swedish neuroendocrinologist, whose work showed how calling to mind positive mental images of a loved one releases oxytocin into our systems. This is a neurochemical that decreases the release of stress hormones and helps us feel calm and safe.
So, when we feel down and perhaps anxious about what lies ahead, visualizing positive mental images has a calming effect and can be seen as a powerful tool for taking the edge off of fear. Visualization gets easier to do once we’ve identified experiences we’ve had that make us feel good. It’s kind of like putting together an internal photo album of memories with which we emotionally resonate. We can call on the associated images when the need arises with some awareness that can have a positive impact on us.
So, take some time to think of images that will help you more readily connect with positive feelings before you need them. This step helps to ensure you know they work for you. When choosing images, think of times rich with tenderness, love, compassion, or joy. A person, place or time that makes you feel better and shifts your emotional state.
You might try recalling a happy moment shared with friends – perhaps something fun that happened during the recent holiday season. You could imagine being enveloped in a loving embrace by a loved one, or picture yourself in a warm and serene place – the destination of a forthcoming holiday later this year, perhaps. Or try to visualize your adult self comforting the scared child within you.
Figuring out the imagery that works best for you may take some time. That’s why it’s better to experiment with visualization before you’re feeling down or anxious. It’s a skill you can develop. It might take a bit of effort to get it working for you, but the results will make it worth it.
The Positive Imagery Tool
When you’ve decided on your images, make them part of an exercise called the Positive Imagery Tool. Whenever you’re feeling down this January (or any time for that matter), just follow these five simple steps:
1. Acknowledge your discomfort.
2. Call to mind images, memories or situations that evoke positive feelings.
3. Focus on this material as you breathe deeply.
4. Imagine the positive feelings washing over you and neutralizing your anxiety or fear.
5. When your anxiety or fear sufficiently melts away, take a moment to sit with and appreciate what you’re feeling.
With positive images in your emotional toolkit, negotiating the challenges of the early part of a new year should be easier. And the Positive Imagery Tool is something you can use all year round, helping you through the winter months until spring comes. And the good news is spring is well on its way already!
Happy New Year!
